


Insight

by purpleeyestelllies



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Friendship, Its gonna be pretty emotional, M/M, Multi, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-13 12:25:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9123493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleeyestelllies/pseuds/purpleeyestelllies
Summary: Four boys with separate stories find their plot lines cross and their views of the world change. Together, they'll discover things about themselves they never knew.





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to the Madhouse, my dears. Let's have some fun.
> 
> Fair Warning: this is unfinished and, for the moment, on the back burner of my life.

Harry could never open letters like on TV. You know, one grand rip and it's done. No, Harry was tearing little pieces off with gangling, uncoordinated fingers while his mum peered over his shoulder and his stepdad sat patiently on a stool at the counter. Finally, the last bit peeled apart and Harry ripped the letter out from its confines, dropping the unimportant casing to the floor.

"What's it say?" Anne urged.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Don't know yet, mum."

"Well, hurry up!"

The high school senior unfolded the piece of paper and let his eyes scan the top line, mouth mumbling the words until his brows lifted and he screamed. "I got in!"

His mum echoed his yelp and jumped to him, wrapping him in her arms. "My baby's going to University. Oh, my God, I'm so proud." Harry's cheek was smashed against her chest, fuzzy sweater tickling his nostrils.

"Mum," he mumbled. "Mum," he groaned more loudly.

"Anne, let the poor boy go," Robin sighed and gently pulled Anne's arms down. Then, he slapped Harry on the shoulder and offered, "Good job, son."

Harry went pink at the attention and honest bewilderment that he was actually going to go to his first choice. In just about six months time, he'd be a freshman at Arlington South University majoring in photography. His dreams were all going to come true.

He called his girlfriend to tell her the good news, and she came right over. "It's so far," she noted with a pout.

"It's only like four hours away with no traffic," Harry corrected. "And I'll be home on most weekends and holidays. We'll still talk all the time." He wrapped an arm tighter around Claire's shoulders, kissing her temple. "I still love you. Distance doesn't change that."

She smiled up at him and tugged idly at his shirt sleeve. "And no sleeping with other girls, right? We agreed."

He lifted her hand to his mouth, lightly kissing the promise ring he'd given her a few months ago. "I wouldn't want to."

***

"Welcome home, Niall. Glad to have you back."

The blond gave his on-again-off-again boss and unofficial guardian, Bressie, a hug. "Good to be back. I'm hoping you've got a place for me this summer in the shop?"

"For you? Always. Start whenever you're settled in."

Niall hopped up to sit on the dirty metal table that held all sorts of tools. "You know me, Head. I'm never settled."

Bressie put his head back into his work, sliding under a jacked up car. In between clanking noises, he asked, "How's Arse U treating you?"

Niall considered kicking the vehicle hovering over his mate, but just huffed a laugh and reminded him, "It's ARSU, and it's treating me fine. Finished me first year of the music production program, and they haven't kicked me out yet."

"You? No way they'd kick you out. You make that school."

His laugh that time was more genuine. "Yeah, some bloke from small town Ireland makes a school with hundreds of years of history and hundreds of thousands of alums."

"Damn right."

"I need more people like you at school. Maybe I'd be more popular," Niall lamented.

Bressie slid out from under the car, a look of concern on his face. "What do you mean? Is someone giving you trouble?"

Niall waved him off. "No, it's nothing. I just-" He bit down on his lip and considered his next words. "It's dumb, but I wish I'd get invited to parties and whatever. I mean, Liam's on the footie team, and he's always going out to things-"

"He doesn't invite you? What kind of shit roommate is-"

"No! He does," Niall placated. "But I know he's doing it out of pity, and I don't want to be some bloke's charity case.

Bressie sat up, resting his forearms on his knees. "If you want to go to a party, mate, just go. You don't always need an invitation. And I've seen you get all dolled up. You clean up nice." He stood, kicking the scooter away. "This year will be different, you hear me? Go out, find a cute girl, and make more friends." The mechanic waited with a raised brow until Niall nodded. "Good. Now go away, you're distracting me from my work."

Niall shoved him playfully and jumped down to stand. "Thanks, Brez."

"I'll see you tomorrow bright and early, kid."

***

"That's not what she told me, mate."

Louis ignored Liam's doubt and continued his story. "So, she naked on my bed, begging me to go down on her, right?" He explained with dramatic hand gestures and a put off crease to his mouth.

"Right," Liam allowed as he lifted his whiskey to his lips, sunglasses sliding down the perch of his nose.

"And her boyfriend walks in."

"No way," Liam countered, eyes opening in interest.

"Yep." Louis nodded proudly. "Here I am completely innocent. Had no clue she had a guy. But he's standing there with these great shoulders and this thick hair, and I did what any lad in my position would've done."

"What's that?" Liam asked and perched an arm under his head against his lounge chair.

Louis took a sip of his drink, for dramatic effect Liam was sure, before answering. "Asked him to bed, and had the best threesome I've ever experienced."

Liam chuckled. "I feel bad. Your stories are great, but I'm so used to them that they lose their shock." He sat up, legs coming off the chair to land on the wood of the deck of the boat. "You'll have to find new victims to terrorize with your exploits."

"But Payno," Louis complained and lifted his now empty glass to the waiter walking by, "no one else understands the truth of them."

"And I do?"

"Of course you do. If you didn't, you'd still be shocked by them."

Liam barked a laugh and gave his best mate a pat on the shoulder. "I'm going to have a piss and a nap. See you at dinner."

"A nap?" Louis squawked indignantly. "This is the summer before my last year of school. Don't waste my youth!"

"You'll be fine without me," Liam assured and opened the sliding glass door that led inside, letting an employee pass him on the way out.

Louis huffed and flopped back on his deck chair, squinting up into the sun. "Mr. Tomlinson, your drink is refreshed." Louis looked over to see a young waiter with shaggy blond hair setting a new drink down, and his lips tilted up in a smirk.

"Why don't you make another and come join me?"

***

"Hey, mum. Yeah, I'm good. On the yacht with Louis for a week." He nodded even though his mum couldn't see him through the phone as he stripped off his swim shorts and fell onto his bed naked for a nap. "I won't drink too much, mum." He pushed the phone between his ear and the bed. "I'll be sure to tip."

He picked at the expensive sheets and listened to her babble on, humming at important times. _"Get this out of your system now, Liam James. When school starts again, I want you focused on football."_

"I know, mum." His eyes drooped. "Hey, tell Dad I said hi." He furrowed his brow. "Oh, right. Well, when he gets back from his trip, tell him, then. Love you, too. Bye, mum."

He didn't even hang up, just flipped onto his back and sighed up at the intricate wood carving in the ceiling. The summer just started and it felt like it was already going by too fast. The first year of school was nothing. General classes and minimum homework. He didn't even play a single minute of gametime.

But this year he had a real shot at getting on the field and his business classes were way more intense this year. He groaned and flopped an arm over his face. Going to school a million miles from home was supposed to make life easier, but his parents were still ruling every aspect of his life, despite the distance. At least at school he could drink what he wanted, fuck who he wanted, and eat what he wanted in the off season without them knowing.

***

Louis shut the door behind the blond with one last cheeky smile and walked back to his oversized bed with just his pants hung low on his hips. He grabbed his phone and sent a group text to his whole family, saying he was missing them and couldn't wait to be home for a while next month. He quickly got one in response from his mum.

**Mum: Room is just as you left it last summer, baby.**

**Lottie: soooo...a pigsty?**

**Louis: excuse you! Like you're one to talk. Your makeup had even spilled into my room thank you.**

**Daisy: hey can someone pick up milk on the way home?**

**Daisy: hi Loubear! Miss you**

**Louis: miss you more daisychain.**

**Dan: I got some milk today.**

**Dan: hey Lou. When are you home?**

**Louis: two weeks. Still on the boat with Payno. Game?**

**Dan: of course. Already looking up tickets.**

**Fizzy: omg! Tell Liam I said hi!**

**Mum: Daisy you forgot to take the trash out this morning**

Louis ignored the texts after that, silencing his phone and letting a genuine smile slip onto his face. He was gone most of the year, and his family still treated him like he was around every day. He was lucky. Even after his mum remarried and they added a stranger to their family, things worked out. He loved Dan, and Dan loved all the kids and his mum. He was just about to finish school and go on to take over the world as the CEO of some music company. He'd just jizzed all over some guy's beautiful cheekbones. Life was perfect.


	2. ii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait a week for another one so here you go.

The wide brick pillars that framed the long drive into ARSU's campus were intimidating at best. Harry hiked his bags higher on shoulder and let his mum's hand on his back propel him forward. Not five feet onto the grounds and people behind long, white tables were yelling for his attention.

"Join the art club!"

"Join Phi Kappa Phi!"

"Don't forget to get your student ID printed!"

Harry nearly turned right back around and walked around to the back entrance, but Robin's strong grip on his shoulder, like he knew Harry was ten seconds from running, kept him moving in the right direction. He went to the giant banner that said check in here! and got in the long line of other kids with too many bags and too many family members.

"This is so exciting," his mum awed. "My baby's boy is off to uni."

"Mum, dont..." He turned to see tears clouding her eyes. "Mum, we talked about this. No tears today. It's a happy day!" he cheered, overexcited as if to show her how to behave.

Anne fanned her face and nodded. "I know, I know." She took a deep breath and let Robin massage her shoulders to relaxation as they moved up to the table.

"Hi there! Welcome to Arlington South. Last name?" the smiling upperclassmen asked. 

"Styles," Harry answered. 

She nodded and flicked her fingers through folder after folder until she plucked his from the crate. "Harry?"

Anne's crying had subsided to a quiet blubber that Harry pointedly ignored so he didn't add fuel to the fire. "That's me." 

"Welcome," she greeted again. "You'll be in Normandy. Its the biggest dorm on campus with most of the underclassmen. Here's a schedule for orientation and your info." Harry took the offered folder. "The family can stay up until the meeting tonight. That's just for students. Then you're on your own."

That sent Anne off, her tears coming back with a wail. Harry contained his eye roll and wrapped an arm around his mum's shoulder. "Is there a map in here?" he asked.

"There is, but you get your very own guide to your first stop." She turned and shouted, "Lou!" at a mass of waiting upperclassmen. A short, tan boy stepped forward and Harry's fingers clenched in his mom's shoulder unconscious. She flinched and looked up at him, following his gaze to where Harry was staring. 

Suddenly, she was wiping her tears and lifted a brow at her son. The boy approached them with a smile and held a hand out to Harry. "Louis."

It took a long moment for Harry's limbs to works, and when they did, he nearly slapped Louis he reached out so fast. "Harry Edward Styles."

Louis' chuckle matched the one Anne was hiding over his shoulder. "Nice to meet you Harry Edward Styles." When Harry didn't let go of his hand, Louis cleared his throat. "Um, can I see your folder?"

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course." Harry let Louis' small hand go and passed the manila-covered information over. The blue-eyed boy scanned it before smiling up at Harry.

"Normandy. My best mate's in there. I'm there a lot actually, even though I'm in Quickette with the upperclassmen business majors." He waved for Harry and his family to follow him and turned before heading off, away from the table. He loomed over his shoulder and raised a hand to wave at Harry's mum. "Louis, ma'am."

"Ma'am," she cooed and shoved Harry playfully. "So polite. I'm Anne. This is my husband Robin."

"Nice to meet you guys. Harry picked a good school. Your boy will do great here."

Anne tangled her and Harry's fingers together. "Of course he will. He's so smart and always hardworking."

Louis' face went soft for just a second before turning back around and leading them on. When they rounded a bend in the wide stone pathway, a giant dark brick building stood before them, littered with people inside and out. They pushed through the front door, squeezing past people with much less finesse than Louis. He settled behind a small group already waiting for the elevator and made polite conversation with Anne and Robin while Harry took in all the little details about Louis.

His hair was swooping out from under a loose knit beanie, but he could tell it was the soft kind you died to tangle your fingers in. The upperclassmen's lashes fan across his cheeks when he blinked and Harry subconscious fluttered his own. One hand was idly playing with the bottom corner of Harry's folder, tip of a finger sliding between the layers and back out. "Pretty," Harry murmured to himself before catching himself. His eyes went wide when his parents looked up at him confused, but Louis just lifted the corner of his mouth.

The elevator dinged open and saved Harry from explaining himself. They crammed into the lift with their bags and the couple other people until the doors closed them in. Louis was pressed to Harry's front, his shoulder pressing against Harry's chest. Harry refused to make a fool of himself. He was in uni now, a grown man, and he _would not_  get hard against a stranger. Louis shifted from foot to foot as an arm lifted and bent back to slid a hand under the collar of his shirt between his shoulder blades. Harry watched the material dip and a few inches of tan skin become exposed. 

Suddenly and forcefully, Harry was reminded that he already had a girlfriend. A sweet, loyal girl who he promised himself to. It was like his body had been doused in ice water, his semi deflating fast and his shoulders sinking. That would be only the first of so many temptations at a new school far from home, and he almost failed right off the bat. Thankfully, their floor came sooner rather than later, only one up from the lobby and common room. When the door opened, Harry breathed in the new, fresh air and distanced himself from the curvy lad.

"You're down here. Actually just a couple rooms from my best mate." Louis led them to an undecorated door and ripped off the key taped to the inside of the folder to unlock it. The room was empty when he entered, two bare beds and empty desk the first things in his vision. A little dresser sat against the wall at the end of each bed and a small door next to them that Harry assumed were the closets. "Choose your side wisely," Louis teased.

Harry looked between the two sides carefully, concentration on his face. His mum placed a gentle hand on his back. "I think he was kidding, love."

Right. Harry laughed awkwardly and walked over to the left side of the room, dropping his bag onto the bed. "You have the schedule and here's your key," he reminded and passed the little piece of gold-colored metal to the freshman. When Harry didn't respond, eyes concentrating on the floor, Louis offered, "Welcome to ARSU." Harry only nodded, so Louis gave a, "Good to meet you all," to Anne and Robin and left, closing the door behind him.

"That was rude, Harry Edward," Anne chided and shoved him in the shoulder. 

"Sorry," Harry mumbled and pointedly chose to focus on unpacking.

***

Louis paused outside the door for just a moment, confusion filtering over his features. He could've sworn Harry was flirting with him, or trying to through fumbled words and awkward limbs. He was cute, very cute, for a freshman, and Louis wasn't one to discriminate based on age. Offended, Louis marched further down the hall and pushed open a door without knocking to find Liam laying on his bed, head hanging off the bottom end, phone in the air over his head.

"I'm appealing to freshman, right?"

Liam didn't even look over, just scrolled through whatever was on his phone. "Hey, Lou." Louis groaned in annoyance and stomped over to Liam's bed, swinging a leg over to straddle Liam's thighs.

"I'm not, like," he scrunched his face up in disgust, "too old for freshman, I am?"

Liam sighed and let his phone fall to the bed, scooting down to move him and Louis until his head was resting on his sheets. "No, Louis, you're not too old for freshman."

"That's what I thought. I mean, if anything, I look young for my age. That's why I always get the older men. They love that twinky thing."

Just as he said it, the door opened and a blond walked in with a big grin on his face. "Oh, um. I'll..." He thumbed behind him and started to retreat, but Louis was off Liam's lap quickly and reaching out for him.

"Niall, perfect! An unbiased opinion." He grabbed Niall by the wrist and pulled him into the room. "Look at me," he ordered. Niall looked him up and down and then shrugged, confused. "I'm hot, right?"

Niall fumbled for something to say, brows in his hairline. Liam chuckled and sat up on his bed. "Best to just answer honestly. He can always tell a liar when he sees one."

The blond flicked his eyes down and shrugged, "I'm not...you know."

Louis rolled his eyes. "I'm not asking you to fuck me, mate. Unbiased, as a person, am I attractive?"

Niall's eyes went wide at the statement and he nodded carefully. "I guess so. Yeah."

"See?" Louis whined and turned to Liam. "Underclassmen think I'm hot."

The brunet sophomore stood from the bed and rolled his eyes. "What are you on about?"

Louis groaned and headed for the nearest bed, Niall's, and flopped onto it. "I think I'm loosing my touch. Spent too much time at home this summer."

"You love being at home for summer," Liam reminded.

"Yeah," Louis drew out, "but there's almost no one to fuck in my hometown. I'm out of my groove."

"Poor baby," Niall deadpanned lowly, surprising both Liam and Louis. Liam laughed and gave Niall a pat on his back. 

"You'll be fine, Lou," Liam assured. "There's a welcome back party tonight at Dan's. You'll find someone to get your groove back." He went and pulled Louis off Niall's bed, ignoring his dramatic look of defeat, and laid Louis' arm over his shoulder like he was physically injured. As they walked by, Liam paused and added, "You should come, Niall. It's a pretty chill night. Not too many people."

Niall tensed up, trying not to look to hard at Liam's honey eyes. "I don't know..."

"Come, Niall!" Louis demanded and pulled Liam out of the room with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think these boys may have some good times ahead. What do you think?
> 
> COMMENTS AND KUDOS! MWAH! Xoxo


	3. iii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to try and do updates every Saturday. Here's this week's. Enjoy

Niall's financial aid adviser clicked through his computer file, humming in disapproval every so often. His knee was bouncing, thumbnail firmly between his teeth. Just when Niall swore she'd give up and unload the bad news, she sighed in relief and pressed enter one final time, turning to Niall with a sympathetic but happy look. "You're covered. Barely, I mean, barely. But you've got another semester of school paid for."

Niall released the breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Oh God, thank you. How did you do that?"

She just shrugged. "Wasn't me. The scholarship you picked up for exemplary grades came through just in time. Which means keep a 3.9 or higher this semester or you lose that money."

"Not going to happen. Thank you so much."

She nodded. "Don't waste your opportunity, Niall."

He lifted from the chair, the weight of the world off his shoulders for now. "I wont," he promised and walked out of the financial aid office with his head held high. Not two step outside, he plucked his phone from his pocket and rang up the number one, and only one, on his speed dial.

"Chief!"

"I'm covered! My advisor is a miracle worker, and I will be married to my computer this semester, but I'm in school for another half year."

Bressie whooped through the phone. "Man, I'm so proud of you, kid. Your mum and dad would be proud, too, you know that, right?"

"Thanks, Big Head. Means a lot."

He knew he would never actually hear his mother or father say they were proud of him, but hearing Bressie say it was almost as good. The man that basically raised him and convinced him to even go for a degree. Now, he knew he couldn't let Bressie down. He had to graduate and make all his dreams come true.

He hung up and kept on down the main walkway, relief making him want to dance past the other students and all the families and friends that came with them. He could feel the joy tingle in his fingers, crawling up his skin. Niall lifted an arm and swooped his hand into the air, doing the wave from one arm to the other. When he got to the other end, he sent the wave back down his arms. A foot sneaked out and then back in, and out again, before he switched to the other foot, tapping between his toes back and forth, arms going over his head.

He turned and walked backwards, the chorus of Uptown Funk resolutely on replay in his brain as he shimmied, head thrown back and a smile on his face. He was sure people were giving him weird looks but he just couldn't care because he had a whole semester to deal with them. The walk back to his dorm seemed short with Bruno Mars' voice cascading over his eardrums. With a hand on the doorknob, and a song in his heart, he burst through the door to his room.

The scene in front of him was confusing but not nearly as uncommon as it should be. "Oh, um. I'll..." Niall averted his eyes, refusing to focus on the way Liam's hands curled around Louis' thighs.

***

The party was supposed to be chill, it really was. But the students get excited to be back every year and the welcome back bash is almost always more hassle than it's worth. If Louis weren't captain of the football team, he'd skip- but he is, so he's going. And he was dragging Liam, as he'd done to most parties since the day they met.

"Come on, Liam! Stop dragging or we'll miss the good weed," Louis complained. Liam just rolled his eyes and let Louis drag him towards the small house a couple blocks from campus. "You're the worst, Payne. I'm skipping you the first pass around."

"You know I don't smoke during the season, Lou," Liam reminded as they walked up to the door, the muted sound of dance music pulsing on the other side of the door.

Louis raised a brow and stopped at the top of the steps. "Yeah, I'm aware," he deadpanned. The difference between the shut door and an open one had Liam wincing and taking a deep breath. They walked into the party, acknowledging the greetings and fond regards as they passed. The living room already reeked of beer, but the pungent smell of pot wasn't in the air yet. Louis bounced further into the house, down the hall to Dan's room.

There wasn't any music coming from the room, but with how loud the speakers in the living room were, they didn't need it. A few lads and a couple girls were sat around the bedroom, on the bed, on chairs brought in, in a hammock hung across the far corner. Louis accepted the outstretched hands and warm welcomes as he plopped down on the bed, scooting to the top to rest against the pillows between Dan and Calvin, two of his teammates.

"Evening, Tommo. Now that you've decided to grace us with your presence, we'll get started," Dan mocked.

Louis waved his hand in permission and watch his mate lift a spliff to his lips and light it. He let his head fall back against the headboard with a soft thud, his mind already wandering with the promise of release. He took the joint from Dan's long fingers and held it to his mouth, inhaling slowly and letting the weight of the smoke fill his lungs completely. He passed it on as he held it in, allowing it to filter into his lungs and stomach and liver and brain and arms and legs and toes. When his head started to swim he puffed out the gray streams, sighing out his contentment. A few more passes and Louis was well on his way to cursing the cute freshman who iced him for no reason.

"His name is Harry," Louis scoffed to the small group, who'd been eager enough to listen when Louis asked to lament. "What kind of rubbish, goodie boy name is that?" He got a few hums of agreement. "He's not even anything special. His hair's all big and fuzzy. And his arms are as long as my legs. That's weird!" He gestured wildly, trying to get everyone to understand.

"So why do you care?" Calvin asked.

Louis opened his mouth, quick to rebut, but the words sank on his tongue.

He wasn't sure. "I don't know."

"Then, maybe you should find out."

***

Liam sauntered away from the pulsing living room and his current dance partner, lights swirling over his vision as he let his hands swipe against a few girls he passed on his way to the kitchen.

"Payno!" Brody enthused and opened his arms for Liam to step into. "How was your summer, man? Are you ready for training to start? You're going for starter, right? You should."

Liam just nodded and gave the tipsy lad a pat on the shoulder as he muscled his way between people to the counter of drinks. He grabbed an empty cup and a can of Coke before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a flask with his grandfather's initials engraved on the front. He poured a bit of the contents into the soda and swirled it around while he replaced his flask. He sipped, satisfied, and swayed out of the kitchen.

The doorway wasn't nearly large enough for all the people wanting a drink or wanting to dance, and he bumped into someone on his way out, spilling their drink on his shoes. "Shit, sorry, mate. My bad." He could only hope he was heard over the music.

"I wasn't looking either." They both looked down at Liam's soaked trainers. "I'm really sorry."

Liam shook his head. He couldn't come to a party like this and expect to come out clean. "It's okay," he assured as he looked up at the culprit, a tall boy with long wavy hair. "Don't worry about it. Hazards of a good time."

"You're sure?" he worried.

"Sure."

The guy looked relieved and nodded. "Thanks, man. Um, Harry. Nice to meet you, I guess."

Liam didn't catch any of that, but since the bloke was holding his hand out, he assumed he was meant to introduce himself. "Liam," he yelled.

"What was it?" the green-eyed boy asked.

"It's-"

"Payno!" Calvin crowed as he jumped on Liam's back and shook him, making his own drink spill over onto his and Harry shoes. The overpowering smell of weed assaulted Liam's nostrils and he pushed Calvin off of him, glancing down at Harry's boots with a frown.

"Guess now we're even."

Harry frowned back. "Guess so, Payno."

Calvin grabbed him by the wrist and tugged him away, leaving Liam to wave behind him at the sulking boy.

***

Harry furrowed his brows and wiggled his toes in his wet shoes. They were a gift from his mum. And now they were ruined. That's what he got, he supposed, for trying to come to a party his first night at uni. He should've stayed in his dorm and finished unpacking. Now, he'd have to walk home with wet boots and a headache.

As if that weren't enough, he had to somehow keep his mind off the thick shoulders and chest of...Payno? What a name. A nickname for sure. Which meant he'd never be able to find him in the student directory. _Not_ that it mattered. Because he had a girlfriend. Whom he loved. Dearly.

Anyway, who needed pretty honey eyes and plump pink lips? Who even cared that ARSU seemed to be stuffed full of attractive people meant to test Harry is every way? Who cared! Not him.

He groaned and raked his fingers angrily through his hair as he walked with a brisk pace through the chilly night air, letting it cool his overheated skin. The dark roads were lit by street lamps, glowing dull orange across locked cars and unkempt bushes. Harry tapped a rhythm into his thigh and tried to clear his head. He'd never been outside his small town. Never known anyone but his small group of friends. Never fallen for anyone besides Claire, his girl since he was fifteen.

His life was a good one, one he was lucky to have. He had no room to complain, no room to doubt.

Yet...

If he was ever meant to experience life, it'd be in uni, far from home.

No.

Harry slapped a hand against the door to his dorm and slid his keycard over the fob. The halls were busy, people getting to know each other in doorways, contents of bags spilling into the walkway. He ignored it all on his way to the elevator, pushing the button a little too hard before waiting, stewing in his frustration. He was busy taking long deep breaths, in through his nose, out through his nose, when a timid finger tapped his shoulder. He snapped his head up to glare at whomever was ruining his _pranayama_ , but it died at the sweet, concerned look coming from a guy with fading blond hair and big, blue eyes.

"Hey, man. Are you okay?"

Harry shook his thoughts free as the black around the edges of his vision cleared. "Um..."

"It's just- The elevator came and went, and you're about to make yourself bleed," the blond informed him as he took Harry's hand and uncurled his fingers for him, revealing deep red crescents in his palm.

"Sorry," Harry whispered, sort of lost.

"Don't be. Just didn't want you hurting yourself."

"Yeah...thanks," he whispered, fingers extending so the guy's palm laid flat against his. They stayed like that for a long few moments, the look of concern only getting more creased into the blond's face.

A cough came from beside them and they both pulled their hands away like they'd been burned. "Are you lads going up?"

"Down, I'm afraid," Harry murmured to himself, but he saw the boy's eyes light up. He cleared his throat and punched the button to open the idle elevator doors. The three of them shuffled inside, silent, and let the elevator close around them. Harry could feel the hair on his arm stand at attention, reaching out from his body towards the pale skin of stranger's arm. Floor one to floor two and then three, all while Harry kept his eyes shut tight and his hand clenched in fists. 

The doors dinged and slid open on floor three and Harry hurried out of the lift, only to collide with the other student. "Oh," he laughed, blue eyes bright. "I guess we're closer than we thought. I'm just down-"

"Yeah, cool," Harry bit out and ignored the small frown from the blond. "Night." He walked off quickly, not stopping as he pushed through his door and fell onto his bed in his wet shoes and sweaty clothes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENTS AND KUDOS! MWAH!! Xoxo


	4. iv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm a day late. Don't hate me :)
> 
> Enjoy

The morning sun streaked in through the slats in Liam's window. As soon as he opened his eyes, he shut them tight again and groaned.

"Liam?"

That noise. Ugh, why was someone yelling at him? He voiced his disapproval in the form of a grunt and rolled over to bury his face in his pillow.

"Liam," the voice came again. "Sorry, I know you're probably hungover, but tryouts are today for freshman, and I know you're supposed to be there."

Hungover was right. The one time between the months of September and February that he let himself let go, have some fun, get smashed, and he was absolutely regretting it right then. Because now he was aching, nauseous, and dead tired, but he still had to go to-

He shot up in bed, sheets finally falling off where they'd just barely held on to the toe of the trainer he'd neglected to take off last night and falling on the floor. "Tryouts! Shit." He jumped out of bed and pulled last night's stained shirt off his body. He tried to grab his shower stuff while kicking his shoes off, and instead, landed on his ass on the hard wood floor. "Shit!"

He didn't have time for this. If he was going to make a good impression on David, enough to get game time, he had to be on time to fucking freshman tryouts.

"Go shower. I'll get you something to wear," Niall offered and handed Liam his towel. Liam pushed his shoes off, one at a time, with his toes and took the towel from his roommate. 

"Thanks, Ni."

Niall just nodded and turned away while Liam laid back on the dusty floor and lifted his hips to tug his jeans off. He grabbed his towel and shower bag and dashed out of the room and down the hall to the floor's shared bathroom in only his pants. 

***

Niall pulled open the drawers of Liam's dresser, the second one where he always kept his shirts. He skimmed over them until he found one that he'd seen Liam wear to practices. After a year of living together, Niall shouldn't have been surprised by how much he knew about Liam, but it still hit him in the gut as he lifted up Liam favorite athletic trousers, dropping the clothes on Liam's bed. It wasn't like Niall purposefully paid attention to what Liam wore, or liked to eat, or read in his free time- comics- but then again, maybe he did. 

For just a moment, he debated whether or not to pick out a pair of pants, quickly shrugging the idea off and going for Liam's sports bag instead. He lined everything up by his bed and flopped back on his own when he was done. The ceiling seemed to be as much help as the rest of his thoughts. He spent last night pretending not to wonder what was going on outside his room. He knew Liam and Louis- loud, colorful Louis- were at that party they'd mentioned. The one they briefly invited him to. 

They had to know there was no way he would go. He was surprised Liam went, actually. Considering he started up football duties today. But he wondered anyway, thinking what if he did go? Would they talk to him? Would anyone? Probably not. Instead, he finished an entire season of _That 70's Show_ before meandering downstairs for snacks. It was on his way back up that his night got even mildly interesting. 

The curly-headed boy. Obviously a freshman with that baby face and lost look in his eye. Niall stepped up behind him to wait for the elevator after downing two bags of chips and a coke. But when the elevator doors opened and the boy didn't move, Niall furrowed his brows and noticed the tight clench of his fists, the stiff set of his shoulders. The doors had closed again, and Niall couldn't help but tap a finger on his shoulder. The guy jumped, flinched really, and turned bright but scared green eyes on Niall. 

And he was lost.

He'd never taken much stock into figuring out his sexuality. Mostly because he didn't need to. There were plenty of pretty girls out there that did that job for him just fine, so he never looked any further, but the overwhelming urge to push that total stranger against the back of the elevator and press his lips against those plump pink ones was enough to have him loosing his breath. 

"You're a lifesaver, Ni."

The voice of his roommate, of the only person even close to a friend at this school, shattered through his daydream. 

Liam. 

Niall didn't even want to go there. Now that his mind had opened to the idea, he couldn't help but see the way he thought and felt about Liam in a new light. Maybe all those times he'd admired Liam's physic in appreciation was something else. Maybe every time his face burned pink at Liam's attention wasn't just social anxiety. Maybe-

"I owe you," Liam was saying as he walked over to where Niall had clenched his eyes shut. The blond felt finger brush lightly through his hair before they disappeared, and Liam's footsteps retreated. "See you later, Niall."

The door shut on the scent of Liam's body wash and Niall's train of thought. No more of that. He wasn't- _like that_. And neither was Liam. Not that it mattered anyway. He didn't have time for things like that when he had studies to focus on. 

Plus, he should probably try making friends first. 

***

"I love being gay," Louis sighed and let his head fall back against the metal lockers. 

Liam scoffed a laugh and tied up his cleats. "Why's that, dare I ask?" The students that were coming back for a repeat, and had already tried out and made it, were getting dressed to facilitate tryouts for freshman, a forced duty by their coach. Louis was in the middle of all of it, hair a mess atop his head and hoodie two sizes too big- one Liam had never seen him wear before. "Where'd you get that?" he asked and waved at Louis' top.

Louis just smiled and responded, "The answer to that is the answer to the first question."

For a second, Liam had to go back and remember his first question, and when he did, he let his eyes fall closed on a muffled laugh. "Alright, no more questions," Liam declared. Everyone shuffled out onto the still wet field where a dozen or so freshmen were vying for eight spots on the team. Flashbacks to last year, standing in a line of other fresh meat, sweating even though it was forty degrees, had Liam rubbing nervous palms against his trousers. Louis glanced over and raised a brow.

"Okay, mate?"

Liam nodded shortly, bringing his mind back to the present. He was on the team, he had friends in his teammates, he belonged there. "Yeah, Tommo." 

"Line up!" David yelled. "Returning in back, freshmen up front." Liam and Louis filed in behind the newbies, and he tried to give them an inconspicuous once over. There were a few that he hoped did well. "Sophomores, take these four over to do drills. Juniors, these. Seniors, those four. I'll be coming around to see how everyone is doing in half an hour, and then we'll come back together to do individual drills for me." They took off, Louis to the far end of the field and Liam to the nearest goal.

***

_"Hey, babe."_

Harry wiped a palm over his face and up into his hair. His phone was wedged between his ear and his shoulder as he brought up his student portal on his laptop. "Hey, Claire. How are you?"

_"Lonely,"_ she admitted. _"I miss you already."_

Harry felt a pang of longing, and another of resistance. "It's only been a few days, baby. I know this is an adjustment, but we can do this."

She sighed, resigned. _"How was orientation?"_

Harry nodded even though she couldn't see him. "Good. Mum cried."

_"As promised."_ They shared a laugh.

"My roommate is nice. Gone a lot, though. I think he works." Harry scrolled down to his classes and clicked.

_"Practically your own room, then? That'll be nice when I visit,"_ she offered, a hint of something promising in her voice.

Harry only laughed. "The amount of time I have alone isn't enough to get me off, let alone you."

_"Harry!"_

Harry rolled his eyes. "Sorry, I was kidding." He wasn't, but Claire had _delicate_ sensibilities, his mom once told him. "My classes are good. Found the caf yesterday for lunch. Food's good. Even got my books from the school store. They gave me a discount for paying cash, which is-"

_"Good?"_ she teased.

The freshman realized his error, and tried to actually focus on the conversation instead of letting his mind run. "Sorry....again. I've got a lot going on." At least personally.

_"Harry,"_ Claire stopped him with the sweet lilt of his name. _"You don't have to explain. I know you."_

He let that comfort him at least. Even if he had no idea who he was lately, at least she did. "Yeah, of course. God, Claire, you're the best. Thank you."

Claire hummed in understanding. _"So, my pastor said I could shadow him on Wednesday's. It'll look great on my uni application. I can't believe it's only a year away."_

"That's awesome, love. You're going to do great."

He clicked on his intro to photography class and noticed an outstanding assignment he'd yet to look at. When he opened it, and read through the details, he realized he was meant to have an inspiration portfolio of photos taken at the school for class tomorrow. "Shit, Claire, I have to go. I have homework."

_"Already?"_

Harry sighed. "Apparently, yeah. I'll talk to you soon."

_"I love-"_

But he'd already hung up. He grabbed his camera bag and his key before running out of the room. How did he not know he had an assignment due on the first day of class? It's the most typical freshman mistake. And in the only class specialized to his focus.

Luckily, the weather was perfect outside. Warm and slightly overcast, the sun a blur behind soft clouds. People were soaking up the UV rays before the wind turned biting and the temperature dropped for the season. He brought the assignment page up on his phone to get specifics.

Ten photos. At least three with a human focal point, individual or group. Three of non-human focus. And four of a shared focus. No editing, no filtering, no cropping. Printed and bound in a spiral folder with a cover page.

In less than a day.

Sure, why not.

Harry stopped at every interesting thing he could find, but honestly, most everybody was static. Lounging on blankets or reading. He wanted something moving, action-packed. His favorite type of photography.

He kept walking, around the side of his dorm and down the hill towards a commotion that caught his attention. People were gathered in groups and running around. As he got closer, he notice a few round blurs moving between the people. Some of them were shouting, some of them being shouted at. When he finally stepped off the cement and onto grass, he saw the blurs were actually footballs, and the groups weren't just running around yelling, they were practicing...or something.

He sneaked over to the side where a tall set of seats hugged the home side of the pitch, climbing up the ramp and making his way to the midfield line. The older man, obviously the coach, was walking around with a clipboard in arms, taking notes and adjusting players practices. Harry's eyes scanned the field over to one end and stopped.

The guy from the party, the one with the golden eyes and the nice shoes. _Payno._ He was a footballer. He wasn't one of the ones yelling, but he also wasn't being yelled at. He was leaned in towards a guy that looked so scared he had to be a freshman,  talking passionately and pointing to cones and the ball.

The crease in the brunet's brow had Harry lifting the camera to his eye and snapping a few shots off. He spent longer than he liked to admit getting the best moments of the party guy's morning captured on film. The grip he had on one of the player's shoulders, the second his cleat connected to the ball and sent it into the goal, his hand pushing stray hair back off his face.

He caught himself pressed against the front railing of the stands, leaning dangerously over to get a good angle, and dropped his camera around his neck. A deep breath filled his lungs, and he decided he should probably move far away from that end of the field. He turned and walked the other way a few feet, groaning when he looked to the other goal box.

Louis. Seriously?

In bright cleats and a large hoodie that hung off his shoulder, hair pulled back in a headband that Harry was surprised he wanted to rip off just to get his fingers in its place. He was sure God was testing him, giving him too much to think about at once. Instead of running onto the field and tackling one of the men to the field, either in anger that was only directed at himself, or lust that he didn't know what to do with, he lifted the camera to his face again and did what he knew how to do.

Take pictures.

Louis seemed much less serious than Payno. Smiling at the younger players and teasing them with the ball, dribbling between their legs and twisting around them to retrieve it before they could blink. Harry couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as he watched, shutter fluttering wildly. These were going to be great photos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENTS AND KUDOS! MWAH!! Xoxo


	5. v

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boys have got so much to learn about each other.

"Aren't you glad you joined the footie team, Payno?" Louis goaded as they shot off the starting line for a set of suicides all the way to the other end of the pitch. It was almost five a.m. and Liam was almost awake. Louis beat him, of course, but he came in a strong second. Liam's strength wasn't agility anyway, it was brute force, powerful in his defense.

Soon, the sun would rise, and he would be released to shower and start his first day of classes. But the end of this practice, would be the end of the good part of his day. Then, he'd have to go to Math and English and pretend to keep up. Fake his way through even comprehending the syllabus and then assess which of his classmates would be best for group projects, someone that would be willing to go slow enough for him to get it. Either that, or do it for him.

David called them back to centerfield and they huddled around, one knee to the wet grass. "Good first day, boys. The new recruits join us tomorrow so be at the top of your game if you want to impress. Uniform fittings are next Monday. Bring your form, _filled out_. Have a good day. Dismissed."

"Yes, Coach," they intoned and stood.

"Oh, one more thing. Tommo, Payno. Stay a minute."

Liam gave Louis a disapproving glance, but Louis only lifted a shoulder in a thinly-veiled attempt at ignorance. They waded against the flow to their coach, and Liam set his shoulders, hands clasped behind his back.

"At ease, soldier," Louis teased and shoved Liam's shoulder playfully. Liam's breath knocked out of him and his shoulders deflated while David simply smirked at them.

"Liam, I've asked Louis to be captain this year."

Liam turned on his best mate with shock lacing his features. "Well done, mate!"

"Listen up, Payno," Louis chided, and Liam suffocated a giggle and turned back to his coach.

"I've asked his opinion on who should be his second in command, his co-captain. I didn't guarantee I'd take his nomination, but I promised to consider it."

Liam only nodded. "Louis knows what he's talking about, if that's what you're wondering. Who'd he nominate? Devine? Beals? Was it-"

"You," David informed.

Liam's words died on his tongue. "What?"

"Like I said, I didn't promise I'd choose his pick, but after some thought, I don't think he could've picked a better player. You're a born leader, Liam, and a dedicated footballer."

"Seriously?" Liam wondered.

David just smile softly. "Seriously."

"You wanker!" Liam cheered and wrapped his arms around Louis, lifting the shorter man off the ground in his excitement. Louis laughed, open and bright, and hinged his legs around Liam's thighs.

"You deserve it, you twat," Louis explained through a laugh.

David cleared his throat, and Liam nearly dropped Louis on his bum on the wet grass. He straightened out his shirt and held a hand out. "Thank you, Coach. You won't regret this." He almost kept the smile off his face until the end.

"I hope not. I've never put an underclassmen in a leadership position like this before. Make me proud."

"I will, Coach. Thank you."

David only nodded, seemingly assured, and left the two students to cheer and hug on the field.

***

"Welcome, future graduates, to your first taste of photography at Arlington. My name is Professor Irwin, or Matt, if you want."

Harry was twisting his bottom lip between his thumb and first finger, anxiously waiting for the moment he had to turn in his first assignment. It hadn't turned out quite as he expected. After he left what turned out to be freshmen tryouts, he took pictures of everything he could for an hour, but when he came back to his computer to look over the proofs, none of them were as good as the ones he took of Liam and Louis. All night, he cursed himself for his distraction.

Now, he refused to turn in something less than his best. A first impression was everything. So he swallowed his pride and picked the best ones. He only got it back from the print shop twenty minutes ago, the paper still hot in his hands through the flimsy plastic cover. While the professor vaguely covered the contents of the class, Harry opened his folder past the cover page to the first photo.

He wasn't ostentatious enough to plaster Louis' face, shiny with sweat and spread over a smile, across the first page; he saved that for page three. The first page was of Payno's cleat, rested atop a grass-smeared black and bright blue football. His trouser leg was pulled up just enough to see a smudge of dirt across his light grey socks. The sun cast a bright streak across the ball and the tip of Payno's shoe.

A beautiful picture. With a guilty back story.

Then a shot of a ball just when it pressed against the back of the net, making the web of rope shoot out and form around the ball.

Then Louis' profile as he tapped one toe- then the other, back and forth. A drill Harry watched them all do multiple times- lightly against the ball, arms bent up in action, wrists free to move as he did. His hair was caught in mid-air, bouncing against his head, a smile splitting his cheeks.

On and on, they went. He refused to include more then two of each of their faces. Liam's was mushed against a teammate's after he'd swung an arm around them as they were walking off the field. The sun was just above their head in the distance and made them mostly silhouette, expect Harry could clearly make out the glow of his amber eyes and the broad set of his shoulders.

"Hey," someone spat, obviously not the first attempt to get his attention. He quickly shut his assignment and looked up. "We're passing those in."

"Right, sorry. Here." He handed it over, ignoring the blush that rose on his cheeks. Glad that he was rid of that burden, he pulled out his laptop and focused on the professor.

"I want everyone to go online and find a photographer, dead or alive, that you'd like to do your first project on. Just basic research for now, but you will end up doing an imitation project, so choose wisely."

Harry went to work. He knew his typical favorites, but he wanted to try something he didn't do often. That was the point of school, right? To learn something new. He started off with a vague search for photographers and tried for names he knew but didn't follow. Eventually, he came across Yousuf Karsh, an American-Canadian portrait photographer.

Harry didn't do portraits often, but this seemed a good a chance as any. He went over Yousuf's work, his portraits of legends and celebrities. He came in contact with faces that would never be forgotten. Harry was neck deep in black and white people by the time his professor called their attention again.

"You can continue your work if you'd like, but I just wanted to show a few pieces from the things you guys handed in that I particularly loved."

Harry ignored him, caught up in the profile of Audrey Hepburn's face. That was, until his name was called and he froze. No one else was meant to see those. Shit.

"Mr. Styles actually had two that I loved. This one," he held up a picture of the freshmen huddled around the coach on one knee while he congratulated them on their hard work, "has a sense of work even though no one is really working in the moment.  A sense of accomplishment maybe, which is satisfying for the viewer. And this one," he flipped a couple pages and held it back up, "is almost intimate in its stolen moment, but cheerful. It made me smile, and I don't know either of these students, have no personal connection. Their joy in these his photo brought me joy."

It was the one of Liam and his teammate, walking in comradery with grins against a rising sun. God, why was he so stupid. If anyone made out those guys' faces, they'd think he was a stalker or something.

"Well done, Mr. Styles..." Matt offered and looked around for the matching student. Harry winced and lifted his hand begrudgingly. "Ah, thank you. Nice job."

"Thanks, Professor Irwin- um, Matt?"

The teacher nodded his approval and moved on to the next one. Harry hung his head and contemplated shoveling a hole in the floor with the plastic fork leftover from breakfast in his book bag. Then, he heard a short _pst, hey, pst_ from behind him. He considered ignoring it, begging for a tornado to magically come and rip the roof off the classroom, but, in the end, he turned.

It was blue eyes from the elevator. Fucking. Awesome. "Hi," he practically whispered.

"Harry is it?" He brunet nodded, ashamed. "Niall," the boy offered, and despondent or not, Harry was glad to finally know his name.

"Nice to see you again."

"Yeah?" the blond wondered honestly. When Harry only fish-mouthed at him, he waved it off. "I love those photos. I'm not expert or anything but those are great. You took those of tryouts yesterday, right?" Apparently, Niall wasn't looking for a response because he kept going. "I'm pretty sure my roommate was in that second one. I mean, I should know, I dressed him yesterday," the guy scoffed fondly. "He'd love to see that. Frame it probably."

"No!" Harry protested a bit too passionately for the quiet classroom. "Um, no thank you. They were just an assignment."

"Oh, come on. They're good. I bet he'd even pay you for it. Loves those sports pics, especially of himself." Niall frowned in consideration. "I've made him sound conceited. He's not," he assured. "Just likes the sport. Come on, let me show him."

Niall's eyes grew wide with pleading, manipulative but so endearing. Harry groaned internally and knew he'd lost the moment he'd turned around. "Yeah, okay."

"Ace," he enthused. "Whenever Matt hands them back, I'll take you back to meet him." Harry just nodded, the dry lump of bile in his throat preventing him from speaking. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Harry is getting in way over his head. Hopefully someone is there to catch him when he falls ;)
> 
> COMMENTS AND KUDOS! MWAH!! Xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> Ill let yall know when i decide on an update schedule. Until then, keep an eye out for more.
> 
> COMMENTS AND KUDOS! MWAH!! Xoxo
> 
> Find me on Twitter and Tumblr (deets in profile)


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